It got me thinking...

Having just read a post by 'singleparentdad', it got me thinking about how we, as single parents, cope.  How do we manage to be all things to our children?  I am a single mum, how do I then bring in a 'father' type male influence into my daughter's life?  My brother lives not too far away, but he has his own life and is happy being part-time uncle, doing fun things.  I do not have a boyfriend at the moment and even if I did, would he want to try and take on the mantel of 'step-father'?  What would his role be? But this is all moot.  My point in talking about this is that my family life is vastly different from that of my parents or my grandparents.  Traditional family life is changing and we, as a nation, have to adapt to this change.  My daughter came home from school not so long ago and told me how many of her friends only have a mummy (or a daddy), but not both, living with them.  As a middle class, single mum, living in a very middle class area, I am constantly amazed by how many single parents there are living in close proximity to me.  When I was at secondary school, single parent homes were often referred to as 'broken' homes, almost as if this was something that could be fixed with a bit of glue and I'm not talking about Prit Stick either.  

Single parent families are now almost considered to be normal.  Women of a certain age, are making independent decisions to have a child on their own, because they want to become mothers.  Some of us don't choose this role, but have it thrown upon us, while others do, for whatever reason, choose to split up from their partners.  However the parent becomes 'single', it still doesn't negate the fact that the child or children need to have a gender balance in their life.  Men and women do things differently, offer different views on most things.  Different not wrong.  

I'm not saying that a single parent can't raise a child perfectly well and do a really excellent job at it, but what I am saying is to allow space for informative/creative input from an alternative source other than yourself.  For me, through circumstances, my daughter sees her father only twice a year, so I strive to create the time for her to be with her uncle.  I am happy to have her spend time with her friend's family en masse and experience the dad as the grown-up in the group.  But this, as I have said before, is all a work in process.  Each day is a new experience for me as a mother.  I am learning too, trying new things with the hopes of continually broadening and enriching my daughter's life.
Ultimately, I think that ideas evolve and it is up to me as an individual, to allow for the possibility of that change being for the better and keeping that self-proclaimed open mind, open.

We shall see how I do as she grows up.  So far, so good.  (At least most of the time).