Heard it through the grapevine

A funny thing happened on the way home.  I was sitting on the bus when a girl from my daughter's class got on with her sister.  This happened to be girl B, a girl that I'd written about in a post from last June 2011, I had talked about the possibility that my daughter was being bullied.  

Today, girl B told me that girl A had threatened to 'beat up' my daughter and that she was 'shocked' that I didn't know about it.  I was shocked to be hearing this from a 9 year old child, as she was talking to me as if she were an adult.  But actually I was more worried to hear about the threatening behaviour towards my daughter and that I didn't know about it.  Was this really happening?  Or was this a fanciful story from girl B?  l

When I got home, I immediately rang the school and asked to speak to Mr PB.  He was in a meeting but I left a VERY long message with one of the lovely office staff, saying in no uncertain terms that if I didn't hear from Mr PB today, I would be at the school tomorrow morning to discuss this with him.  I wanted to know more about what was going on.  Mr PB rang me back at 6.05pm.  He said that there had been an incident between child A and my daughter last week, but it had been dealt with.  He had put child A on the behaviour scale (not sure if that is like an older version of the 'traffic light'), as there had been another spate today.  At home time, my daughter had found not very nice messages in her pencil case, pieces of paper saying "poo".  Having listened to all of this, I asked Mr PB why he hadn't thought to let me know about what had been happening?  Did he not think it pertinent enough to warrant a phone call?  He promised to investigate and to call me with what he finds out.

Later sobbing on the phone to my dear friend, I cursed my ex-husband for putting me in this situation.  He has no idea what this is like, trying to raise a child by yourself, with no partner to share the difficulties with.  Sometimes I am so angry with him.  My dad always used to say that life is not fair.  But bloody hell, this is just a bit too unfair at times.

My lovely daughter (yes today she is lovely) came home, got into her pijamas and cuddled with me on the couch.  She is now sleeping peacefully in her room, oblivious to the anxieties that I am currently feeling.  I hope that this is just a bit of mischief and that it will all blow over, but what if it isn't?  What if this follows her through to secondary school?  Is this going to become a generational pattern?

I hope for her sake, that she continues in the confident, happy vein that she is in and grows up without these particular worries.

Story telling - not a fan!

Every now and then my daughter comes home with various tales of incidents that have happened at school with various other children.  There are 2 such children that crop up all too often, A & B.  We have known A for a long time, before the girls even started nursery and B only for a year or so.  A is super tall, while B is shorter but carries a bit of excess weight.  Both are strong willed and more than a bit manipulative.  I have caught both girls out in lies on a few occasions.  Well today my child told me that A had been pulling her cardi and that A said that she was going to kill her.  Then she said that A was now going around telling everyone that it was the other way around.

In this situation, what do I do?  As a parent, do I just take note of this and be watchful?  Do I talk to my child's teacher again?  She had been bullied by girl B earlier in the year.   I was bullied a lot in secondary school and it is not something that I want my girl to go through.  I want her to grow up strong and confident in her ability to move through life.  Is today's stumbling block going to have an adverse affect on her in later years, hopefully not.

She is playing happily in her room with a friend.  Their little noises that are seeping through the cracked door are so sweet.  Long may it last.