Thursday, December 17, 2009

The inevitable return of 'Super Shouty Mummy'!

I'm sitting here feeling a bit pathetic.
All is calm and quiet now, but less than an hour ago, I was a screaming banshee!
In fact, my throat feels quite sore from it's excessive use.
It has been a long day and I'd handed in an assignment that I was less than pleased with.
It was my final day of college until the new year.
That in itself should have made this evening a happy one, but I'm tired.
Actually, I'm quite possibly exhausted, having burnt my candle at both ends now for many weeks.
What I should do after Child has gone to bed, is have my bath and have an early night.
Not so sure what an early night is?
But what I will probably do is sit and watch bad telly, with a glass of something chilled.
Child was being obnoxiously rude to me earlier, as well as doing feet stomping.
The downstairs neighbours must think that I have a herd of not-so-little elephants up here.
Determined to not 'hear' me, Child carried on, dancing, singing, saying 'NO', calling me stupid and silly and even managed to throw in an 'old'!!
Buttons got pushed and I was helpless to do anything about it, except pick her up and deposit her in her room, followed quickly by a flying pile of dirty clothes/pyjamas.
I was shouting, she was shouting, crying and hitting me.
Finally, I went into the kitchen to breath.
I could hear her sobbing.
It makes me want to sob too. I find it hard not to cry at times like this.
I hate being like this.
I hate her not listening, after many attempts to ask her to get ready for supper.
I hate her rudeness.
But mostly I hate that I let it all get to me and that I don't have the strength or good character to let it pass, to turn the other cheek and put it down to her being only 6.
Sometimes I feel like such a crappy mummy.

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