Family meeting

I'm following up on a suggestion of a dear friend, as a way to move forward through some of the issues that 'we' are having at home.  We are having a family meeting today.

We shall probably go to our local Starbucks, where I can enjoy the coffee and my child can have a muffin, both of which help ease the way.

The problem is, is that I'm not sure how detailed this meeting should be, after all I'm dealing with a 7 year old child.  There is only so much 'reasoning' that she can take on board.

I think that seeing me in tears yesterday morning before school, brought home how upset I am at the moment.  She didn't like seeing me crying.

So in this meeting, we are going to draw up a list of chores that she can be responsible for and if these chores are done on time, then maybe we start looking at a system of giving pocket money.  She can start learning the value of things.  Let her start contributing to how we live as a family.

I feel like I cannot do everything.

DC was with me yesterday when I did school pick up.  We had to race to get to a dance class and while this was going on, he and I went to view a property on behalf of a dear friend.  My child was lovely.  She got her pjs on, ate supper, cleaned her teeth, had her story and went to bed.  But then she kept coming out.  First she was too cold, then too hot, then she couldn't sleep.  DC and I were supposed to be going for dinner and dancing, but this was looking less likely.

I could feel my sense of panic rise, while DC remained calm, allowing me to do what I needed to do.  I had just wanted to have an easy evening without any 'child' issues, with me not wanting to shout at her.  But each time she came out of her room, just made me feel more like I was doing it all wrong.  Finally, she stayed in her room and went to sleep.  With the babysitter listening for her, we went out.

I really didn't feel great, I felt depleted, so we didn't go dancing, instead we went for dinner at Dim T, which turned out to be the perfect salve.  I needed to relax and we sat there, side by side, smiling and laughing while we ate.

But I know that my reactions to my daughter need to be kept in check.  She is only 7 and she deserves a happy, carefree childhood.  But all this is showing me that I am definitely not super-mum and that I do need some family help, that I can't do it all, no matter how capable I may appear.

Volcano exile......a work in progress

To follow on from a very recent post from Family Affairs, I decided to write a little more about my life at this point in time.
I’m stuck in Chicago. Not the worst place to be by any stretch of the imagination, but definitely the wrong side of the pond to be able to contemplate taking a train home.
I would like to toy with the idea of flying into southern Spain, getting on a train to Paris and the Eurostar to London, but somehow I don’t think that that will happen.
My mother told me about all the old battle ships parked up in the Hudson river in New York. Mobilise those and ship all us Brits home.
As for emotions, don’t even get me started. I had a panic attack Sunday morning. I couldn't breath, my heart was racing and I was very tearful. It was NOT nice, not sure I’ve had one of those before. Thankfully the day got better.
I kept reminding myself that it could be oh so much worse. Like most people, I have friends stuck everywhere, Egypt, Italy (not too bad), an island off Denmark. I’m grateful to have a place to stay here and not be stuck in an airport. I feel so sorry for those families with children who have nowhere to go other than the airport. How awful is that?
But I do the ‘what if’ thing all the time.
Our plane actually took off last week to go home, but it had been delayed by 2 hours and was turned around after 3 hours. Shit does happen!
If we hadn’t been delayed, I could possibly be at home as we speak.
There is so much in my life at home that I am missing right now. Interviews, deadlines, family, friends, man. I'm feeling very unproductive but this is something that I can change. Homework can be emailed to me and visa versa.
It does amaze me that we have become so dependent on modern necessities.
But I think the thing I’m most grateful for right now, is being able to access the internet.
Staying in touch and hearing other stories and the news has been a blessing.
I hope that if you are one of the many 'stranded', that you’re able to get home soon.