Sleep deprivation

I am so completely tired that I've gone past the point of actually being tired.
We flew home last night, landing late this morning with NO interference from any volcano (thank goodness!) The plane was fairly empty so we were both able to stretch out and sleep. My daughter was able to do just that, but I only managed to grab a couple of hours. So now I'm running on overtime.
My delightful daughter is sleeping soundly and under strict orders NOT to wake me in the morning. Fingers crossed.
I think its a mixture of the white toblerone (thanks nic) and a late latte, but I'm feeling wide awake and it's almost midnight.
But the thing that I really want to say in this very short post, is that I had a very lovely 'welcome home'. My man met us from the tube and brought us home.
It just felt so good to be wrapped up in his arms. With all my travels, it had been almost a month since we'd seen each other.
And to say that we are a mutual appreciation society, is an understatement.
Ok folks, as my pops would say, that's all she wrote.....

Home

Home.
Not sure why it is but I find myself smiling when I think about it.
And it's not just my own small living space, but the surrounding area.
I was driving back from a long afternoon of dancing on the river, followed by more dancing in a pub, completely exhausted with little patience for idiot 'Sunday' drivers, when I turned right onto Roseberry Ave and found myself smiling.
I had grown up going to Sadler's Wells, the old theatre, not this glass monstrosity that they have now replaced it with and it sort of felt like a signal. A sign that I was in home territory.
Not long now and I'd be wending my way past my old road, the road where I lived for 30 years. Do people still do that? Live somewhere for that length of time? It seems that everyone wants bigger and better, more space inside, more space outside. Are we never content with just enough? Is the grass always going to be greener on the other side of the fence?
That is a question that I am at this point in time, happy to answer with a no. I am content with where I live. It is my home. My humble abode. I share it happily (most of the time) with my child. We as a family unit, have grown and developed here. But further down the line, later on, perhaps in a few years, I would like to have a slightly bigger home, with a garden.
I can aspire to more. For what are we if we can't have our dreams? Our hopes? Our goals?
It is healthy to be able to achieve and to reach an actual peak in the daily mountains that we climb.
So yes, I am happy and I do smile when I near my own little part of the world. It is the comfort of the known, the normal, the routine that makes everyday life, at least for me, the life that I am happy to be leading.

Home.....what a wonderful word

home

 noun, adjective, adverb, verb,homed, hom·ing.

–noun

1.

a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household.

2.

the place in which one's domestic affections are centered.

3.

a person's native place or own country.

4.

any place of residence or refuge: a heavenly home.

I feel like these 4 examples sum up quite precisely how I am feeling about being back in my home.

Definition of home:

abode, address, apartment,boarding house, bungalow, cabin, castle, cave, co-op, commorancy, condo, condominium, cottage, crash pad, diggings, digs, domicile, dormitory, dump, dwelling, farm, fireside, flat, habitation, hangout, haunt, hearth, hideout, hole in the wall, home plate, homestead, hospital, house, hut, joint, living quarters, manor, mansion, nest, orphanage, pad, palace, parking place, place, residence, resort, roof, rooming house, roost, shanty, shelter, trailer, turf, villa, where the hat is...

Waiting to exhale...

Yes I'm holding my breath.
Apparently, we are still scheduled to fly out of here tonight.
Oh my gosh!!!
The mere thought that we could potentially be home tomorrow, home and sleeping in our own beds, is knee-wobbling.
I could actually make it to one of my University interviews.
But wait.....I'm still here and haven't left yet.
At this point, I cannot count my chickens until they've hatched.
It is still all such a work in progress.
So until we do fly.....watch this space.
(And the UK airspace too!)

Uncertainties.........

I'm starting to feel a bit insecure now.

It has been almost 3 weeks since I last saw my new-ish man, DC, and it will be closer to a month when we're both finally back in London.

What if he doesn't like me anymore?

I think about him often but what if it is a one-way street?

I hate 'what if'.

My time here has thankfully gone very quickly.

I'm very much looking forward to being home agian, sleeping in my own bed, being with my daughter.

I miss her.

This has been a long separation.

It has sometimes been hard.

My 'constant' hasn't been with me.