Something a very dear friend said to me the other night on the phone, is "what has he got to offer you?"
I had just spent the evening out with DC (or new-ish man). We talked for 3 hours. We sat on a couch in a pub drinking one drink each, talking. He had been very animated and excited because of the weekend he'd just had and was telling me lots of little anecdotes and funny stories. But we also talked about us. About how we'd become intimate very quickly instead of getting to know each other first. Very early on he'd said that he wasn't sure he could 'give' me what I wanted and he reiterated that same statement. He comes with more baggage then I do. He still has many ties to his ex that need to be resolved and he's worried about hurting me.
This made me think.
My friend also told me "to keep my options open".
The thing is, is that I like this man. Not just how he makes me feel, but what he has to say, how he thinks, his opinions. I find him interesting and funny and very sexy.
Why is it so wrong to want to keep seeing him?
It's only wrong if he doesn't want the same thing.
And so I've given myself and him a time frame to see 'what happens'. The thought of this is making me feel sad, tearful, this isn't what I want. I want him, but it has to be a two-way street.
I know that I deserve someone who wants to give me everything and I don't just mean material things. In fact, I don't mean material things at all. But someone who will be my partner in life.
The potential here is huge, but then so is disappointment of rejection.
My glass is still half full.
And as my Pops used to say, "it ain't over til the fat lady sings!"
I'm finding it hard to read what I've written.
This isn't how I want this relationship to go.
I still feel the potential for amazing and wonderful is still possible.
The butterflies are still resident.
I had just spent the evening out with DC (or new-ish man). We talked for 3 hours. We sat on a couch in a pub drinking one drink each, talking. He had been very animated and excited because of the weekend he'd just had and was telling me lots of little anecdotes and funny stories. But we also talked about us. About how we'd become intimate very quickly instead of getting to know each other first. Very early on he'd said that he wasn't sure he could 'give' me what I wanted and he reiterated that same statement. He comes with more baggage then I do. He still has many ties to his ex that need to be resolved and he's worried about hurting me.
This made me think.
My friend also told me "to keep my options open".
The thing is, is that I like this man. Not just how he makes me feel, but what he has to say, how he thinks, his opinions. I find him interesting and funny and very sexy.
Why is it so wrong to want to keep seeing him?
It's only wrong if he doesn't want the same thing.
And so I've given myself and him a time frame to see 'what happens'. The thought of this is making me feel sad, tearful, this isn't what I want. I want him, but it has to be a two-way street.
I know that I deserve someone who wants to give me everything and I don't just mean material things. In fact, I don't mean material things at all. But someone who will be my partner in life.
The potential here is huge, but then so is disappointment of rejection.
My glass is still half full.
And as my Pops used to say, "it ain't over til the fat lady sings!"
I'm finding it hard to read what I've written.
This isn't how I want this relationship to go.
I still feel the potential for amazing and wonderful is still possible.
The butterflies are still resident.
Keep your energy open and someone else may appear to take your mind off new-ish man. I'm not saying that you need to start dating multiple men, but make your requirements clear on what you want and what you know you are worth.
ReplyDeleteStick to your time limit and who knows what will happen when the fat lady starts practising her scales...
The way that things have gone over the past 9 months you might be fighting them off with a stick....