Bread, wine and tears

Well not the bread, can't eat wheat, but the other two seem to be flowing rather well today.
I'm sorry to keep going on about DC, but I feel at such an impasse with my emotions vs. my brain.
My thoughts seem to preoccupied with him.
I find that I can't shake myself out of this miasma.
I feel so frustrated by what I am feeling.
By what he says when we're together and by what he doesn't say when we're apart.
I know that he has what I need and I have what he wants.
I can support as a girlfriend/partner.
He just has to allow me in, but I don't think he will.
He likened himself to a butterfly and I think he's scared of being hurt.
'We' can work on his baggage together.
He's 100% with me and almost the opposite when not.
I don't know what to do.
I know we're good together.
Unbelievable when in the same space.
I'm just not sure, whatever else happens, that I can handle the 'lack of contact/communication' during the in between times.
And all these questions are difficult.
It's difficult to acknowledge that something isn't working properly.
I don't want to let go.
I want more and deserve more, but I want him to want to give it too.
He said he doesn't want to hurt me, but too late, I've invested emotion into him and my heart is hurting.